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Frank Zappa - The Poodle Lecture lyrics



In the beginning GOD made 'the light.' Shortly thereafter GOD made the poodle-as you can see by this model that we have in front of us. When GOD made the poodle initially it was a very handsome sort of a dog-it had HAIR, HAIR, HAIR, evenly distributed all over its charming canine poodle-shape body.

Shortly after the construction of the poodle itself, GOD made TWO big mistakes. The first one was called MAN, and the second one was called WO-MAN. WO-MAN looketh upon the poodle and saith unto herself, "This poodle, with hair evenly distributed all over its body, is of no use to me for it is not SLICK, it is not STREAMLINE, it is not FASHIONABLE, and in many instances it is REPULSIVE because of the brown things attached to the hair on the rear part of the dog, and I must have this dog modified," so he turneth onto MAN, and saith unto MAN, "SUCKER, GO GET A JOB!" And MAN, being the chump that he was, wenteth out and wenteth forth and lefteth the cave, and went into the world itself and gotteth a job.

Whereupon he returneth to the cave with his MONEY, and the WO-MAN looketh upon the money and said, "SUCKER! Take this money and go buy me a pair of scissors, whereby I may clippeth upon this poodle and modify it to my own personal taste and secret moist innermost DESIRES." And the MAN, being the chump that he was, went out and bought her the poodle clipping shears and broughth 'em back to the WO-MAN and handeth the shears to the WO-MAN, whereupon she GRABBETH the poodle thusly . . . and with a DEFT, SWIFT, DENSE ECUMENICAL PATINA (Talk about it!) of STROKE (Talk about it!), she clippeth upon the poodle, near the FETLOCK, all across the THORAX, in the MEDULA, and . . . right near the cappuciano o'er here, and streamlined that sucker until it looked just like this, with little feet sticking out and a little ball on the end, making the dags very easy to remove, and she putteth t
Songs list of album: You Can't Do That on Stage Anymore, Vol. 6 [live] (1992)
         Title Rating
01   The M.O.I. Anti-Smut Loyalty Oath lyrics   -
02   The Poodle Lecture lyrics   -
03   Dirty Love lyrics   -
04   Magic Fingers lyrics   -
05   The Madison Panty-Sniffing Festival lyrics   -
06    Honey, Don't You Want a Man Like Me? lyrics Add lyrics   -
07   Father O'Blivion lyrics   -
08    Is That Guy Kidding or What? lyrics Add lyrics   -
09   I'm So Cute lyrics   -
10    White Person lyrics Add lyrics   -
11    Lonely Person Devices lyrics Add lyrics   -
12   Ms. Pinky lyrics   -
13   Shove It Right In lyrics   -
14    Wind up Workin' in a Gas Station lyrics Add lyrics   -
15    Make a Sex Noise lyrics Add lyrics   -
16    Tracy Is a Snob lyrics Add lyrics   -
17    I Have Been in You lyrics Add lyrics   -
18    Emperor of Ohio lyrics Add lyrics   -
19   Dinah-Moe Humm lyrics   -
20   He's So Gay lyrics   -
21   Camarillo Brillo lyrics   -
22   Muffin Man lyrics   -
23    NYC Halloween Audience lyrics Add lyrics   -
24   The Illinois Enema Bandit lyrics   -
25    Thirteen lyrics Add lyrics   -
26    Lobster Girl lyrics Add lyrics   -
27   Black Napkins lyrics   -
28   We're Turning Again lyrics   -
29   Alien Orifice lyrics   -
30   Catholic Girls lyrics  
5.00
31   Crew Slut lyrics   -
32    Tryin' to Grow a Chin lyrics Add lyrics   -
33   Take Your Clothes Off When You Dance lyrics   -
34    Lisa's Life Story lyrics Add lyrics   -
35   Lonesome Cowboy Nando lyrics   -
36    200 Motels Finale lyrics Add lyrics   -
37   Strictly Genteel lyrics   -
 

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