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Fascinating Aida - The Enemy of Beauty lyrics
We're lovely, we're perfect, we're youthful But asked to name our ages you would never guess We are each 93 and we're sure you'll agree Father Time must have lost our address Most people think that we're models Policemen daily ask us why we're not at school That's 'cos our faces are a vision of perfection No drops or wrinkles - oh, we're open to inspection We've got the secret of a fabulous complexion So to fight decay and keep old age at bay You must follow this golden rule Mobility's the enemy of beauty Our skin is stapled to our skulls with metal clips And our legs look much improved Since our kneecaps were removed And recycled in our artificial hips Oh, eating can be rather tricky One may not masticate with a frozen jaw So we're quite cock-a-hoop at a nice bowl of soup For we haven't eaten solids since the war All day we're busy with procedures We're injected in our bottoms with fermented kelp Later a special cryogenic siesta then We sand-blast our colons to fill us full of zest again Finally we dress but then it's time to get undressed again What a busy day! We gently drift away With this simple mantra of self-health Mobility's the enemy of beauty In pursuit of endless youth, we will never flag Our surgeon uses slivers Left over from Joan Rivers To plump up all those horrid bits that sag Mobility's the enemy of beauty Our vaginas have been tightened so they grip like hell And for extra satisfaction We can offer the attraction Of our hymen up our anuses as well Mobility's the enemy of beauty Of Leslie Ash's lips, we're enormous fans To our lines, it's syonara Our idol's Kate O'Mara But never never never You must be very clever No, never ever ever show your hands. |
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