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Kevin Bloody Wilson - Bali Belly Song lyrics
Ten days in Bali, got four days to go Ten days of terror cos I'm glued to the throne An I'm shittin' in litres and firin' both ends I'll never shit solid again And it's cost me a fortune for this holiday 'Stead of pissin' it up, Christ, I'm shittin' it away Cos I'm glued to the loo while me mates are out ragin' I'll never shit solid again I'll never shit solid again Or hold anything down for as long as I live Cos me arse is jammed open from freckle fatigue I'll never shit solid again (Told you it was a sad song!) I called mum back home she said "Mix up a cup of cornflour and gravox to thicken it up" Then she pissed herself laughin' and hung up the phone I'll never shit solid again Just had a crap an I'm wipin me ring Haven't quite finished, start spewin' again Used the same piece of paper to wipe off me chin I'll never shit solid again I'll never shit solid again So I'll rig up a hosepipe to stick up me ring Then at least when I fart I won't splatter me jeans I'll never shit solid again (Starts gettin' a bit untidy now!) I'm doin' cartwheels as I try to guess A crap or a chunder, Christ, what's comin' next Will it spray through me fingers or run down me leg I'll never shit solid again Slipped in some shit a foot thick on the floor Skid arse over tit, then I spewed a bit more Now I gotta sift through it cos me denture fell in I'll never shit solid again I'll never shit solid again Me ring's hangin' out an' me guts have caved in I'll be buried in a bucket an' me mates'll all sing "He'll never shit solid again!" (Uhhhh) |
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