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Kevin Bloody Wilson - The Featherbrain Championship lyrics
you could see a blew was brewin' as they eyed each other off and the tension only mounted when snakey won the toss "you break" he said to lofty as he chucked across the que and the tention in the pub just grew and grew "i'll break alright" said lofty as he snapped the que in half and flung it back at snake and said "here shove this up your ass" "me nanna give me that" said snakey "mate your fucking gone" and the featherbrain championship was on it was the front bar featherbrain non-title fight two blokes the size of buffalos, big but not too bright and no-one gives two knobs of goat shit who was wrong or right in the front bar featherbrain non-title fight no-one seemed to know too much about their pedigrees in that sort of place you didn't ask them sort of things they said lofty's from the top end he was ugly tough and mean used a welders wire brush to scrub his teeth and snake was just plain ugly where he come from no-one knew rekon rambo woulda shit himself if snakey told him to and together they weighed half a ton in singlet shorts and thongs there was no cunt home but all the lights where on the breeze near knocked me over when snake threw the opening punch it seemed to come from nowhere i just heard this sickening chrunch i thought if any bastard lives through that they're pretty fuckin' good was like a railway peddlers hammer splitting wood it threw lofty 'gainst the 8-ball table, flipped it on it's edge but he just casually got up walked around and ripped off all the legs the one by one he smashed the cunts 'cross snakey's ugly head if his brain weren't so well padded he'd be dead snakey shook his skull and blinked a bit and slowly looked around then chucked a right that woulda knocked a war memorial down the force of it sent lofty flyin' crashin' through the wall now there's a doorway where there weren't one there before he landed ass up in the shithouse with his feet up in the air bricks and dust and broken glass and paper everywhere and caked in that and crap he ripped the dunny off the wall and armed with that and fuck all brains went back for more he smashed that dunny over snakeys head, shattering it to bits pepperin' him with porcalin and splattering him with shit there was teeth amongst the muck and shit whose they where you couldn't tell but it looks like lofty lost an ear as well and snakes right eye was swolen shut from where he'd copped one hard faif dinkum mate it looked as black as earny dingo's ass but with all the peices missing and with all the blood and gore they weren't as fuckin' ugly as before there was flesh and bone and blood and shit smeared on the walls and them two bastards wallowing in it rolling on the floor the republican just scrached his balls wonderin' lookin round should he clean the bastard up or burn it down most blues you see turn out to be a win or loss or draw but fucked if seen both opponents lose a fight before i heard snakey say to lofty as they crawled across the bar "fuck the snooker, wanna game of darts" it was the front bar featherbrain non-title fight two blokes the size of buffalos, big but not too bright and no-one gives two knobs of goat shit who was wrong or right in the front bar featherbrain non-title fight |
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